Last week, I had a kid throw up in the class where I was subbing.
That same day, I got my first e-mail rejecting my book proposal.
Talk about an awesome day. Not.
My brain went haywire…trying to reason with the situation. Well, she DID say that she liked my manuscript, I thought. It’s not that she didn’t want to publish it…she couldn’t because it has a male lead character, I told myself. I tried to make myself feel better because it hurt to think about the reality:
This company is not going to publish my book.
I just had to face the facts. I could try to rationalize it or stroke my ego, but I needed to see that not everyone thinks my book is awesome. I mean hey, you might not even like it if you get to read it.
This forced me to face a difficult truth: my book might never make it onto the shelves at Barnes and Noble. It might never be for sale on Amazon.
I am still wrestling with this fact, and I’ve been asking myself a difficult question ever since: is it worth it to still write if I never see the hardback?
When I have the answer, I’ll let you know…